Mean People

I am not sure why so many people are mean to others. Why do people treat others so carelessly? I have told my two boys that you will probably encounter more mean people than nice people in your life time. We all encounter people who will use you in some way whether it is to better themselves, use your knowledge, get close to your friends or loved ones or use your skills. In reality you will probably have one to two people who are friends with you because they truly care about you. The others that come along are with you for a time. People grow, change and have different needs so friends change constantly.

Ty and James have had their share of encounters with mean people. Some in sports, Ty has had teammates that flat out ignored him and a couple coaches who where down right cruel. He faced all that with his head held high and is the better man for it. Recently at work he encountered a very enraged customer who was upset about the length of time it was taking to receive his chicken. While the man was yelling at Tyler he tried to stay calm but eventually he had to go get his manager. Ty did the right thing in this situation but was upset about how the man treated him. I really do not understand how a grown man can think it is okay to scream at a sixteen year old cashier. What is wrong with that guy? I told Tyler you are going to encounter people like that in every aspect of your life you just have to stay strong and do the right thing.

James has encountered a lot of great people through swim and some not so great. When he was younger he had a fellow swimmer who would play mind games with him to psych him out before a race. This teammate would pretend to be his friend but then would just mess with his mind. James finally distanced himself from this "friend" and learned how to let the words roll off him. He began to use the words as fuel to swim faster. Mental toughness as it is called is probably the hardest part of sports and thankfully James has become stronger in this area. A lot of swimmers get a lot of pressure from their parents and they take that pressure out on their fellow teammates. Currently, JT is dealing with teammates who do not want him in his lane. This does hurt his feelings but he knows it is because they do not want to keep up with him or have him lead the lane. It is tough to think of his teammates as his friends when they dismiss him so easily on occasion. Swim can be lonely at times. You are alone in a lane with your thoughts. It is tough to keep that mental toughness. I have told James that sometimes it is lonely when you have goals that you want to achieve in the end just keep pushing and it will all work itself out.

I myself still encounter cruelty and at times fall into the trap of trusting people. I have friends I can count on but even as an adult you find out that people will still use you and that bullying does not end when you grow up. I think the biggest part is narcissism. There are a lot of narcissists out there they do what they feel will help them gain and walk away from anyone who does not fit into their plan. I do not think they even realize they are narcissists they will say things like I am doing what is best for me, I have changed, etc. In reality they just do not need you anymore, they have found someone else to help them or fit the roll you once had. They have used you up and are simply done. I also think social media while great to keep up with family and friends can also be a huge bullying factor for adults and children. I am still planning on taking a Facebook break this summer but will be on Instagram. I will also continue to write this blog. Mean people simply put "suck". They suck the happiness out of you and make you feel at times worthless.

I hope my friends know that I am your friend and I pray that I have never made anyone ever feel worthless. I am teaching my boys to guard themselves a bit and to not put themselves totally out there until they know the person better. I am not naive I know they are going to get hurt however I hope they will learn from my mistakes and become stronger people.