Taking Flight

Today James flew to Arizona to compete in probably one of the biggest races he has been to so far in his swim career. I took him to the airport at 4 AM to meet up with his coach and two other swimmers so they could start the journey to the Open Water Junior Nationals. It was super hard for me to not be on that plane with him. This is his first time taking such a huge trip without me. I hate missing any of my boys events but I know it is also necessary as they start to leave the nest.

I know in my mind that this will be a good step for him but my heart is a whole other matter. I feel thrilled for him and sad at the same time. Part of me feels like I am missing something huge and part of me knows that he needs this. I will survive and he will be a better person for taking this trip. I will not be at every college competition or event he swims in it is not financially or physically possible. He is taking flight and I need to let him spread his wings.

Tyler is going to the prom tomorrow and I thought this event was in the distant future. He is getting more and more independent which is good but also stressful for me. Ty is starting to share with his girlfriend more and less with me. While this is normal it does not make it any easier. Again, I feel like I am missing out on something and it makes me a bit melancholy. He put on his tux tonight for his dad and I, he is so handsome and is looking so grown up. Time is moving way faster than I would like it to. Tyler is also taking flight and he's moving at the speed of light. He definitely is more independent than James.

After 16 years of holding their hands and helping them grow up they are beginning to become independent people. While this is the ultimate goal it is so hard to let them fly. Part of me wants them to stay in the nest forever. Even though at times I feel like I am in a Coo Coo nest, life is crazy and I am holding on as tight as I can.